Hypersensitive Car Situation
Consonant reader,
I was driving back from North Wales yesterday. It was raining hard and I was on a very bendy piece of road. I was listening to the radio and it was very loud, playing a band called Wilco. They're a good 'listening in the car' band, only because I have their album on tape and don't listen to tapes outside of the car.
Through the music I was began thinking about life, the universe and pretty much everything else. Rewinding and reviewing the past couple of days, weeks and months made me realise what I'd actually done so far in my life, the people I'd met and the places I'd been. I'd just been to see my dad and his family nd before that I'd visited my friend in Colwyn Bay. This resort on the North Wales coast is now full of smackheads so I'm told. When I grew up there things were possibly a little different (I was never want to try any smack as a child anyhow). Anyhow, on this visit I met a few faces I hadn't seen since school. In the pubs mainly, working behind the bar, sitting down and doing pub quizzes or just there drinking. I spoke to a couple, and realised there was fuck all to say to each other. Our lives had missed each others and were off on a completely different direction. It was very strange looking at these people who, the last time I had seen them, wore school uniforms and were less bald (I can talk) and less fat (That too). Sobering.
I then began thinking about the state of the many different people in my life today, and for some I was glad and happy. For others, those who I believed to be in a sort of dire straits, I began to worry and hoped they could do something about their lives even though they couldn't see their problems themselves. I recognised this in some part having been there before, but also I saw it as a great unknown, a problem they must deal with to which I don't have any kind of an answer or advice to give.
I also began worrying for myself and thought of the things to come. Suddenly every thought became a kind of magnified study into someones soul- hopes, dreams yada yada. I somehow, inside that claustrophic atmosphere, became aware of things going on. Also, it was getting a bit hot in the car, having turned on the heater to de-mist the windscreen.
Before I knew what was happening I nearly cried. I'm sure my eyes began to well up, but I didn't let the damn burst. Everything had come to a big emotional bottleneck. Why? Why now? I'm driving for god's sake!
The moment fell away and, in order to make myself better I opened the windows and got a blast of icy rain and turned Wilco up. This made me forget about my little episode and got me rallying again. Then I drove for the next 3 hours without a care in the world.
What happened there then? Paranoia? Meloncholy? I've no idea myself but it made me feel awfully.. weird.
B x.
I was driving back from North Wales yesterday. It was raining hard and I was on a very bendy piece of road. I was listening to the radio and it was very loud, playing a band called Wilco. They're a good 'listening in the car' band, only because I have their album on tape and don't listen to tapes outside of the car.
Through the music I was began thinking about life, the universe and pretty much everything else. Rewinding and reviewing the past couple of days, weeks and months made me realise what I'd actually done so far in my life, the people I'd met and the places I'd been. I'd just been to see my dad and his family nd before that I'd visited my friend in Colwyn Bay. This resort on the North Wales coast is now full of smackheads so I'm told. When I grew up there things were possibly a little different (I was never want to try any smack as a child anyhow). Anyhow, on this visit I met a few faces I hadn't seen since school. In the pubs mainly, working behind the bar, sitting down and doing pub quizzes or just there drinking. I spoke to a couple, and realised there was fuck all to say to each other. Our lives had missed each others and were off on a completely different direction. It was very strange looking at these people who, the last time I had seen them, wore school uniforms and were less bald (I can talk) and less fat (That too). Sobering.
I then began thinking about the state of the many different people in my life today, and for some I was glad and happy. For others, those who I believed to be in a sort of dire straits, I began to worry and hoped they could do something about their lives even though they couldn't see their problems themselves. I recognised this in some part having been there before, but also I saw it as a great unknown, a problem they must deal with to which I don't have any kind of an answer or advice to give.
I also began worrying for myself and thought of the things to come. Suddenly every thought became a kind of magnified study into someones soul- hopes, dreams yada yada. I somehow, inside that claustrophic atmosphere, became aware of things going on. Also, it was getting a bit hot in the car, having turned on the heater to de-mist the windscreen.
Before I knew what was happening I nearly cried. I'm sure my eyes began to well up, but I didn't let the damn burst. Everything had come to a big emotional bottleneck. Why? Why now? I'm driving for god's sake!
The moment fell away and, in order to make myself better I opened the windows and got a blast of icy rain and turned Wilco up. This made me forget about my little episode and got me rallying again. Then I drove for the next 3 hours without a care in the world.
What happened there then? Paranoia? Meloncholy? I've no idea myself but it made me feel awfully.. weird.
B x.